When We Ask “Why Me?”

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When something bad happens to us, like heartbreak, usually our first response is to ask, “WHY is this happening to me?” 

“Why” is a tough question. Even in science, researchers are often trying to answer the question, “Why?” They will spend several years, thousands of hours, and millions of dollars to answer, “Why?”, often never getting to the answer. 

Asking “Why me?” is extremely unproductive. Not only does it not offer any solutions, but it keeps you feeling like a victim. Any power you may have had is given away from asking “why?”. The truth is, in life, we often don’t have a choice in what happens to us, but we do have a choice in how we react. 

Consider rephrasing the question. The next time you ask, “Why me, God?”, instead try,  “What do you want from me?” or “What are you trying to teach me here?” 

Maybe your “why?” isn’t because of a terrible situation. Maybe you have a great idea and you’re afraid to act on it. In this case, try asking, “Why not me?” Let yourself dream and see what happens. 

Your exercise today is to write a gratitude list. Even if you only have 5 minutes, take out a piece of paper and pen and write down everything you’re grateful for. Don’t discount the small stuff. The next time your mind starts going down the “Why me?” path, choose one thing from your list and hold it in your mind for at least 12 seconds (a proven way to rewire your brain to think positively). Keep doing that throughout the day and notice how your day changes.


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